you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
