I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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