I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize