I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
