you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
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About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
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I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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