I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
