Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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