i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
