awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
we're so committed to being not committed
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
