Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
