I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
