I wish I could teleport
so that wasnt chicken after all
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
