Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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