I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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