Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
