yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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