The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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