I think i sorta joined a cult last night
im six kinds of drunk right now
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
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i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
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Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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