I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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