Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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