idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
