I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
