Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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