Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
