he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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