Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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