Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
