you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize