Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
