yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
