can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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