he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
