As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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