Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
