So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
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