is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
