Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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