she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
