Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just gargled with NyQuil
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