did you get engaged???
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
