Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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