i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize