Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
