Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
