Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
