i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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