Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Bring me that man meat
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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