Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
smell my finger.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
