i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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