If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize