Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
