first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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