Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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