im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
