and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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