Soap is not a condiment
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
