hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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