Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
