I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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