a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
