I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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