i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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