How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
