we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
did i just pee glitter
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
