I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
