I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
