what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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